Hey People Pleasers, It’s Time To Start A Fight

Hey People Pleasers, It’s Time To Start A Fight

Some people are fighters. For better or worse, they jump at the chance to get in the fray.

Most people are avoiders. These people go to great lengths to avoid conflict of any kind.

If you are an avoider like me, the people pleasing or peace-loving side of you is a great gift 95% of the time. You have probably developed an ability to empathize with both sides and have the highly developed skill of diffusing situations. This is a good thing… except when it’s not.


Friend, I hate to tell you, but it’s time to start a fight.


I’ve only started one fight in my life.

I was in the 4th grade. It was with my good friend and the whole class was going to attend but then something happened.


A friend of mine and I liked the same girl and we decided we would duke it out in the junkyard behind the school one afternoon to see who would win her affection. Everything had been decided and the day of the fight had arrived, but then fate and a young capitalist stepped in. A fellow classmate was caught trying to sell tickets to the event and we were all called to special meeting with the teacher at recess. After a little straight talk from Mrs. Dupre, the fight was off, everything was ironed out and we were back to being friends the next day.


I was saved by wisdom that day. It was a fight that wasn’t worth getting into.


Why It’s Time To Start A Fight

Some of us have grown so accustomed to avoiding a fights that we are missing big opportunities for growth. I don’t suggest that you walk around looking to stir up conflict, but some things in your life are worth fighting for.


Here are some of the lies that avoiders tell themselves.


“If it’s meant to be it will happen.”
“I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.”
“It’s none of my business.”
“They won’t listen to me.”
“I don’t have what it takes to do that.”
“It’s just not my place to get involved.”
“I don’t want to be a pusher/arrogant/a jerk/judgemental/etc.”
“I’ve tried everything and nothing has worked.”


It’s time to stop telling yourself these lies.


Sometimes things are meant to be, but you have to fight for them.
Sometimes it is your business.
You’d be surprised at how much people will listen if you speak up.
You do have what it takes. Give yourself a chance to surprise you.
You may be the only one who can do something.
Sometimes ambition can be a great thing.
You haven’t tried everything.


It’s time to pick up your sword and go to battle.


Some of you are…


  • passively letting your marriage fall apart.
  • missing out on sales opportunities because you just let others walk over you.
  • created great work and you’re just sitting on the sidelines hoping someone will notice.
  • silently watching your friends walk into dangerous territory.
  • convincing yourself that you can handle the beating.
  • shrinking back from helping others because you don’t feel confident.
  • sitting idly while the enemy tears apart people you love.
  • just plain lazy, numb, or apathetic.


It’s time to get in the fight friend.

And if it’s the right kind of fight, I promise you that God will give you the strength to endure it.

Think about it this way. Maybe you ARE the only one who is right for the job. We like to think that it doesn’t matter if we don’t get in the fight. The outcome is inevitable either way. But, if you are truly the one for the task, then when you choose to not engage, other people pay the price for your inaction. Those you love get hurt because you chose not to swallow your pride and fear and speak up.

This is is where it gets real friend. It’s true you can’t fix others, but it’s also true that if you continue to do nothing your potential to effect change is neutralized and the enemy wins by forfeit.

Most people pleasers use “love” as their reasoning for not getting into the fight. Don’t lie to yourself. If you really love people then you need to stop forfeiting. Some things are worth fighting for.

It’s time to start a fight! What will you fight for?